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Eyes open
February 3, 2008 in Disscusion, Healing, Self Learning, development, life, love, personal | Tags: abuse, being, brother, caravan, caring, change, child, development, dogs, emotion, family, father, forest, foster parents, fostering, fragmented, home, hurt, journey, learning, life, love, mother, music, nature, open, outdoors, pain, personal, pet, photography, river, sister, social, space, suffering, thoughts, victim, Wales, water, woods | Leave a comment
Bang of the door and barks, The first sounds i hear, i open my eyes , where am i , then i remember and smell where i am. The caravan is empty but outside i can see my father his wife and Andrew and the two dogs. I get dressed and go outside, the little jack russel comes bounding up to me tail wagging, so i stroke him and he jumps up even more. My father is stood there a huge shape of a man to me, they are all talking welsh again but his wife says good morning. I can see the river, so no beach as i thought it would be. We are in the woods, i now know its called a forest but didnt then. I can see mountains and trees everywhere. Not one house in sight , just a little clearing by a gravel road where the caravan is parked, gas bottles and car parts and big plastic containers of water. Is this the holiday park, no its where my father lives in the middle of a forest in deep dark Wales. No cars , no electricity, no running water. What am i doing here if i am not on holiday, i was later to learn i had been duped once more . I am told to go with Andrew and he shows me round, So with have trees , trees and more trees, a little crystal clear pool behind the caravan and a waterfall above it, with a big face of white and grey rock next to it. He shows me where they keep the milk, the pool of water flows to an outlet under the road and ontop of a slap at the square exit is pints on milk and silver coloured tins with butter in them. Off to the river not a gushing torrent but, something you could get your car ove to the opposite side, there is a smell of mint in the air and i can hear cows moooing from a field on the opposite side of the river. We go back to the caravan and the smell of bacon and eggs is coming from the caravan. We all sit down for something to eat on where i was sleeping the night before, strange. Then my father jumps into the car with the dogs and is off. Andrew and me go off to play in the river wadding around following it upstream. In a way i guess i was on holiday but was unaware how long it would end up lasting. So after our little exploration of the river we just hand around the caravan messing around with rusty old car parts and then the night comes and its inside something to eat and then bed. Again all you can hear is the river flowing and the dogs moving underneath you, no toher sounds , no cars passing just the still of the night. So eyes closed lets see what tommorow brings.





