Now how to start, is the end the beginning or the beginning the end there’s a question i have asked myself many times. It is a story, one persons story, my story and as honest as i can remember it. It may go back and forth in time a little because as i write the more i remember. I have left out names but a few on purpose, why because the names are not important, its the journey of remembrance and discovery for me that is the important thing

I was born march the 24th 1968 and even then there was confusion because my natural mother refused to accept it was the 24th but insisted it was the 25th. So the seed of my fragmented life started there, so i will call it the beginning after all.

I was born to a married couple whose names i won’t reference as i have left these people behind me now. She was from Machynlleth and he was from a sleepy little village called Corris in the middle of North Wales, once famous for it slate mine now known for a craft centre built on the ruins of the old slate mine. My mother was a young mother she had my year older brother who i have been told was by a different father at the age of 15, not unusual in those parts and of course married young. They then moved to Beckenham in Kent with me in tow. My father became a grave digger as his mental skills were not the best and my mother worked as a cleaner for the council. I am lead to believe thru what i know that my mother then had an affair not long after my year younger sister was born the affair was with my fathers best friend in work in Beckenham. The man involved in the affair would later marry my mother and become Father to two more children of his own and more than stepfather to my brothers and sisters. I have no recollection of my own father until a few years later as he went back to his sleepy village after the affair was in the open and left his woes and children behind him and not a thought in his head of his children again. But he did appear again a few years later and unfortunately i was involved. So as far as personally recalling any memories of my early years an event was to happen that would start and imprint certain things and mold the person I have become today.